What's a city girl to do when she marries the ultimate redneck guy? Don't worry, be happy, once the simple life takes hold she will learn that contentment is easy in rural America. Glitter only sparkles for so long, but the stars in a southern sky will twinkle like bright lights never will.
There are a few things she will need to know right away.
The top ten advantages to being married to a Redneck
1. You never have to worry about going hungry. If it moves he’ll shoot it.
2. You never have to iron his clothes. Flannel is pretty much wash –n-wear.
3. You don’t have to worry about leftovers. One of the dozen-plus dogs will take care of them.
4. You always know what he wants for his birthday. Shotgun shells of any size will do.
5. You know never have to fight him for time in front of the mirror.
6. He always has a pocket knife handy when you need one.
7. When he says he is late because he was stuck in the mud you know it’s the truth.
8. He can fix anything, and if he can’t he will rig it up until it works.
9. He is happy when you go to dinner or a movie with the girls. It saves him the torture.
10. When he vowed to love you forever he meant it. If anything changes he’ll let you know.
The top ten disadvantages to being married to a Redneck.
1. You can’t be sure of the identity of the meat he brought in for dinner, but it tastes like chicken.
2. Dinner and a movie consists of a trip to the Cabella’s snack bar and a hunting video.
3. You receive expensive gifts for your birthday, like the rifle scope he’s been dreaming about.
4. His idea of dressing up to go out means putting on a clean flannel shirt.
5. If he loses something and you can’t find it; you lost it.
6. You have to be careful when you clean out the refrigerator so that you don’t accidentally toss his stink bait.
7. His ability to tell time is relative to his activity. If he “ain’t doin nuthin” It will take him a lot longer than if he “has stuff to do”. Don’t call out the bloodhounds for a few more hours.
8. Household jobs are separated into categories. Woman’s work and work that can be done by anyone…so you might as well do it.
9. He hunts to save money on meat, but spends $250.00 on decoys so he can shoot three geese.
10. His idea of a gift that sparkles is a new fishing lure.
So, sit back, relax, order satelite internet and remember that you can still get to Macy's if you shop on line.
Blessing and joy my Redneckbride sistas...we are in this ride together!
There are a few things she will need to know right away.
The top ten advantages to being married to a Redneck
1. You never have to worry about going hungry. If it moves he’ll shoot it.
2. You never have to iron his clothes. Flannel is pretty much wash –n-wear.
3. You don’t have to worry about leftovers. One of the dozen-plus dogs will take care of them.
4. You always know what he wants for his birthday. Shotgun shells of any size will do.
5. You know never have to fight him for time in front of the mirror.
6. He always has a pocket knife handy when you need one.
7. When he says he is late because he was stuck in the mud you know it’s the truth.
8. He can fix anything, and if he can’t he will rig it up until it works.
9. He is happy when you go to dinner or a movie with the girls. It saves him the torture.
10. When he vowed to love you forever he meant it. If anything changes he’ll let you know.
The top ten disadvantages to being married to a Redneck.
1. You can’t be sure of the identity of the meat he brought in for dinner, but it tastes like chicken.
2. Dinner and a movie consists of a trip to the Cabella’s snack bar and a hunting video.
3. You receive expensive gifts for your birthday, like the rifle scope he’s been dreaming about.
4. His idea of dressing up to go out means putting on a clean flannel shirt.
5. If he loses something and you can’t find it; you lost it.
6. You have to be careful when you clean out the refrigerator so that you don’t accidentally toss his stink bait.
7. His ability to tell time is relative to his activity. If he “ain’t doin nuthin” It will take him a lot longer than if he “has stuff to do”. Don’t call out the bloodhounds for a few more hours.
8. Household jobs are separated into categories. Woman’s work and work that can be done by anyone…so you might as well do it.
9. He hunts to save money on meat, but spends $250.00 on decoys so he can shoot three geese.
10. His idea of a gift that sparkles is a new fishing lure.
So, sit back, relax, order satelite internet and remember that you can still get to Macy's if you shop on line.
Blessing and joy my Redneckbride sistas...we are in this ride together!
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